pain…physical and emotional

Today has been a pretty good day….two weeks out from open ventral hernia repair and one week out from bowel obstruction.  I’m having major issues with insomnia but I think it is all pain related.

PAIN….ugh, this is something that I deal with on a daily basis.  Physically, I have fibromyalgia and I have had over 35 major surgeries as well as close to 50 sinus surgeries/debridements.  I was also diagnosed with chronic pain syndrome.

I hate pain pills…they make me feel gross and the constipation is horrible so I try to ONLY take one at bedtime, except at times like now when recovering from surgery but as of yesterday, down to only one a day and one at night.  I have a fairly high pain tolerance and can handle the physical pain most of the time.

Emotional pain…that one is a killer for me.  A best friend with stage 4 kidney cancer, a mom recovered from mouth cancer, a sister recovered from kidney cancer and now another very close friend diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer just this week.  This is the pain that I struggle to deal with.  I cannot stand to see loved ones hurting and suffering and scared.  Sometimes I think maybe the journey that I have been on is to help others deal with their illnesses as well.  It’s the only good reason that I can come up with anyway.

My “stomachless sisters”, a group of ladies I met online and hope to meet in person this fall.  I feel their pain like it is my own as we have so many of the same issues and problems, but at the same time it is such a relief and blessing to have “met” them as there are days they are the reason that I keep my sanity.

So my struggle with pain of all kinds continues so I’m sure this won’t be my last post about it….

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