This life of no stomach is filled with series of good days and bad days. I am to a point where I can have a couple really good consecutive days and then seem to have to “pay” for them with a couple of bad days. The good days usually outnumber the bad days now.
So what is a good day for me…Getting up in the morning and staying up. Being able to pick up the house, attend events for my kids, go to the store, cook dinner, do some crafting and overall feel good most of the day. These seem like simple things but when your ability to do them has been lost it is a victory to have this kind of day. Days that I can eat and keep everything down and not feel pain from eating.
I will never have the life that I had previously and I have come to terms with that, for the most part. It is a grieving process that I thought sounded ridiculous when reading about it before I lost my stomach. I have found that it is real. Their is hurt, anger, denial and helplessness. And as I spoke of in my previous post a feeling of isolation.
Bad days…these days are becoming less and seem to come in waves. They consist of nonstop nausea, the inability to even eat a bite of a cracker, retching painful dry heaves and being mostly confined to my bed or recliner. Without a stomach, I also have no reserves. So when I don’t or can’t eat, weakness sets in very quickly.
Some of my days are now a combination of both, I may have a bad morning but be OK in the afternoon or vice versa. It is still a life of unpredictability. But regardless, it is a life that I am so grateful to be living. And I am blessed to have a close family and friends that make each day better regardless of what is happening.