Although this last year has been filled with hurdles for me physically and mentally, I can also say that it has been a year of accomplishments and happiness as well. Just because you are suffering in some way life continues to happen all around you.
Getting rid of the walker and being able to walk across the house without passing out was huge for me. Being able to bathe myself again without help, driving again and going places by myself. Going from never having panic attacks in my life to having multiple attacks per day to now rarely having them unless I am in the hospital or very short of breath. These are things that may not seem like a big deal but I fought very hard to overcome.
In February I took a trip to Hawaii with some of my family against my physicians advice. The trip was planned before all of the surgeries and complications last summer. I was crushed when he told me not to go. There is no emergency landing over the Pacific Ocean and 8 hours in a plane is a long time if I would need medical care. I took every precaution that I could and made the trip. I did not fight through all of this to sit at home and wait to die or wait for the next medical problem to happen.
The trip was amazing and I survived. I did have some issues and threw up in a couple restaurant bathrooms, was crazy exhausted but managed to get out and do something every single day even if just going to the beach….but that is my favorite place to be.
I have learned to be braver than I ever thought that I could be. I see the world in a different way than I did before and am so thankful for every little moment and memory that I get to have. Time is more precious and I am learning my limitations and that it is OK for me to say no.
I will continue to adjust to my new normal and even though I know that there will undoubtedly be more setbacks in my future, I also am confident that there will be greater accomplishments and memories to overcome those times.