I have to say that over the last year that eating has definitely become way easier than it was in the beginning. I no longer have to get up in the middle of eating to vomit, which I think is a huge plus!
But as I sit here and write this I have the horrible pain and pressure in my chest from eating too much, too fast. Will I ever learn???? It doesn’t seem like it should be that hard but I still struggle with that aspect of eating and it is 100% my fault. I eat something yummy and my old habits just take over and I want to eat as much as I possibly can. On the bright side it only happens on occasion now, so maybe I am actually learning.
Nausea seems to be the ever constant in my life. Always feeling that I am on the verge of vomiting. It is such a nasty feeling and I was really hoping that over time it would subside but it seems to be a constant.
Then I feel like this and remember once again why I no longer enjoy eating. I also seem to be having more bile reflux lately which is also very unpleasant. Kind of like a blow torch scorching my esophagus and the back of my throat.
I now sleep on this very uncomfortable wedge to keep me propped up in bed to try to keep everything down. It does help somewhat, but wow I would just love to lay down and sleep flat on my bed in any position that I want. Laying on my left side hurts because it puts pressure on the plates and screws that are in my ribs. Laying on my other side is no better as I have to wedge pillows between my legs to keep my knees from bruising each other. And my butt hurts…my tailbone sticks out so far that even laying in my soft bed makes it ache. I also had a pretty severe bed sore there when I was in the hospital for so long and I think that also has made it more sensitive.
I could use some good vibes, prayers, whatever your thing is this week. This is the first time that I will travel to Mayo without my husband or my mom. It will just be me and my two boys. They are 17 and 18, quite capable of helping me drive and taking care of me if needed. I am looking forward to the time spent with them and am going to try and make a vacation of it after we get through my two days of tests and appointments.