Life continues to march on…this is the longest that I have gone without posting, but I have still been writing. I continue to go back and forth on how much to share and how much to keep private. Here’s my deal…I don’t want to post things so that people for sorry for me. I want to post things so that people can realize that you can live your to the fullest no matter what.
I believe that no matter how good or how bad your life is, it is going to change. It is a constant roller coaster of ups and downs. Sometimes the are sharp and fast and knock the wind out of you, sometimes they are slow and gentle and hardly noticeable.
So here is where I am at. My parents graciously invited my sister and I on their annual jeeping trip to Colorado. Sadly, my sis could not go, but my daughter was able to join us! I was having some trouble with my COPD before I left and started IV steroids and tapered to oral steroids while we were in Colorado and just finished them a couple days ago. I had a few small flare ups but nothing major.
Traveling is hard on my body overall, especially since losing my stomach. My bowels get very unhappy and go from one extreme to another. I am slowly learning to adjust for this and this was probably the easiest time I have had traveling since then but still some close calls. My fatigue was also pretty bad a few days but I was in bed before 9pm every night, so that helped get me through the days.
I discovered that my level of fear has gone down considerably. I have not been off roading on mountain trails for 30 years. The last time I went was on a 4 wheeler and crashed down the side of the mountain. I was a little freaked out when we left, but I rode with my dad who I completely trust and had no fear at all. Then my mom and daughter joined us and I had to drive over the trails in a jeep. Much to my surprise, again no fear at all. Maybe it is because I almost died last summer and I would rather die flying off a mountain than laying in an ICU bed full of tubes and attached to machines. I am not sure but it was definitely a unique experience for me and I felt that way every day that I was there.
I also got to meet up with some childhood friends!!! They are a wonderful family who has endured many struggles, from a daughter overcoming brain cancer, a husband surviving a major motorcycle accident, a wife who is now fighting stage 4 breast cancer all while raising a son who is busy, busy, busy. We were able to visit for several hours and catch up. It was a wonderful time to be together but of course, not long enough.
I am trying to make every day count and make as many memories as I possibly can. I believe that this life is meant to be lived to the fullest and I intend to do that, even if I have to sleep for 3 days to make up for a week of vacation. Totally worth it.
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