First, I have an update on my pneumonia. It is still just as bad as last week but not worse. I do have a port a cath in my right chest wall that I learned to access years ago. So the good news is that my O2 saturation is still acceptable and I will be able to do IV steroids as well as two IV antibiotics from the comfort of my home and will go back next week to have a repeat chest X-ray. I also have an O2 saturation monitor at home so I can monitor if it would get too low and I would need to go to hospital for O2.
So, looking back on my posts so far I can see that it might look like I have a really crappy and depressing life. I want to reassure everyone that I have a fabulous life, a happy life. Yes, there are crappy and depressing things in my life but they are NOT my whole life.
I have a husband that has gone above and beyond the vows that we took almost 23 years ago. I have three children that are turning into amazing, respectful adults. I look forward to seeing where life takes them, maybe being a grandma SOMEDAY, vacationing and just being here for whatever purpose God intended.
I have friends that always happen to know when I need them the most and they never fail me. I have a church family that loves me despite my horrible attendance over the last year. I have people that pray for me all over the world. I know that not everyone shares my faith but it is a true and solid source of strength for me.
Years ago I was told that I would probably never even get to see my kids graduate. My “baby” will start his senior year in August. I try to find positive in every day and the one thing that I feel every day is love. You can’t by that, rent that or ask for it. It is given to me fully and freely with no strings attached and that is the best gift ever.
This is not the life that I dreamed of or expected but it truly is a great life. I am not looking for sympathy or people to feel bad for me. I want people to know that even in the midst of trauma, illness, financial trials that life can be great and there is happiness. You just have to make that choice to be happy. It is life changing.
There are days that I cry and feel sorry for myself and that is needed also, you just can’t unpack your bags and live there. I believe there is always a reason to fight and always a reason to try harder. Giving up is not an option for me.